“God Loves you!” I imagine you have heard this before. But was there a time, you really knew in your heart, that God loved YOU?


I did not know this. I didn't really understand what it would feel like if God cared about me and the details of my life. Growing up, I had the influence of my Italian culturally Catholic family, where I did the “right” things at the “right” times (like kneeling and standing and reciting prayers). As a teen, I went through phases of believing that God was real and then thinking that he was a made up fictional figure to keep humanity in line. When I did believe, it was that God was somewhere distant, and that if I needed him, and I was good enough, which I thought I was, he would help me. 


This belief satisfied me for a while, until as a young adult, ready to transition from university to “real” adulthood, I started to ask the bigger questions: Why am I here? Where am I going? And what is my purpose? It was then that I was ready to be open to a change in my life. I found myself at World Youth Day, a large Catholic youth event with the Pope, encountering other youth who asked me if I believed that Jesus actually rose from the dead. This was a question I couldn’t answer at the time. 


A search for the answer to that question, landed me at a Catholic weekend retreat with 20 other people my age. One evening, we gathered in front of a small altar with Jesus in the Eucharistic.  On the wall behind it was a painting of Jesus that I now know is called “The Divine Mercy”. In this depiction of Jesus, he has an arm outstretched and his eyes are looking at the viewer, me! 


As we were praying, the retreat leader said something like, “Jesus is here for you and he loves you… Tell him you love Him”. I thought, Jesus loves ME? It was at this point that I began to recognize all the times that I had deliberately turned away from Jesus. Yet He was still looking at me lovingly even in my sin. He was inviting me to turn away from that sin and love him back. At this point, I understood for the first time in my life that Jesus truly loved ME. The statement “Jesus loves you” became real for me. I responded to his love by going to confession for the first time in many years. I felt a freedom and a lightness, like I had never felt before. 


Leaving that retreat I knew I was changed. I also understood that Jesus loved each person the way he loved me in that moment. I didn’t know exactly my purpose or where I was headed, but I knew that if I followed Jesus, who loves me, that I would have freedom and joy. That day Jesus rescued me from fear and a self-focused life.


Since then my life has taken me through many joys and sorrows, and the same questions still return: Why am I here? Where am I going? and What is my purpose?, but now I know that I am not alone in navigating this life, that I AM loved and that Jesus will guide me both in the darkness and in the light. 


Now I will ask you, do you know that Jesus loves YOU? If you don’t, then ask him to reveal his love to you. I invite you to pray this prayer in your heart. “Jesus, I want to know you more, please show me how much you love me. Amen”. Now, be open to His answer.